November 4, 2013

"Giving birth does not make a mother.....Placing a child for adoption does not make her less of one."

I remember the date and what we were doing like it was yesterday.  It was a Monday night.  The kids were both gone for the evening and Greg and I had just finished up supper.  Our deal is I cook dinner and he cleans up - I know, I have a pretty great husband! So, I made my way to the couch to relax for a second and he was finishing up the dishes.  I remember we had just started talking about the "what ifs".  What if we don't get a call for another year?  What if we NEVER get a call?  What if we get the call and then she ends up having twins? (cue 'Friends' episode here)  What do you think we will "have"? Boy or Girl? Big baby or tiny baby?  Where do you think the birth mother will be from? 

Because we are doing a domestic adoption, we have to stay in the state that the baby is born until the paperwork goes through the courts.  Could be a couple days to a few weeks!  So, in our conversation, I was saying that if we were to get a call and the baby was to be born in the winter, I was kind of hoping it would be a "warm" state.  Greg thought we would probably get a birth mother from Pennsylvania or somewhere around there.  It was fun to imagine when/where!

So, my heart stopped at 7:03 pm on November 4, 2013 when my phone rang and the caller ID came up "Unknown Caller".  Now, I have no idea, other than a "gut feeling" why that phone call stopped me dead in my tracks.  Every time the agency called me, it always came up with their number.  I answered the phone and I heard a very sweet voice, "Jami, this is Mary, your Adoption Advisor.  Is Greg around so I can speak to the two of you together?"  Of course, we perched ourselves on that kitchen bar stool and heard the best thing we've heard "Jami and Greg, congratulations, you have been chosen by a birth mother!"  

We didn't know what to do or say.  Do I cry? Do I sit quietly and listen?  Do I run outside and scream up and down the street that we are going to be parents?  

Mary continued, "Her name is Sarah, she is from Cincinnati and she is African American.  We also know the sex of the baby, but we will get to that later.  The baby is healthy and he is due January 2, 2014."  "So it's a BOY!!!" I said.  "Yes, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to tell you know, I didn't even know if you wanted to know.  It slipped!"  Greg and I sat there and took notes and just looked and each other!  

Mary told us the information we needed to know and told us we could call her back in the morning to let her know if we wanted this opportunity and if we did, we would then set up a "meeting" with the birth mother.  I said, "Can we call you back in 5 minutes?"  "No, take the evening to think about it and I will talk to you in the morning! I get in at 7:00 am PST"

We called the kids and informed them and asked what they thought and we were all so excited!

So, at 9:00 am CST and (7:00am PST), November 5, 2013, I called Mary back and told her we would be delighted to welcome this new little boy into our family!