Adoption....the loving option
There is a thin line between being thrilled and being nauseated. And I am teetering on that line.
We have so much hope that this baby is going to be healthy and that Sarah will be able to let this baby go so courageously. With that being said, we are on pins and needles waiting for every doctor's appointment and "ultrasound". Now, if you recall, we were told a couple weeks ago that she would need 2 ultra sounds a week until delivery, and as of now, Sarah hasn't had a single one.
Now, I am the only one that has communication with Sarah on a daily basis. Greg doesn't, the agency doesn't, it is me. I catch myself forgetting she is carrying "our" baby and wanting to take care of her. Greg has dreams about the baby....I have dreams about moving Sarah in with us and taking care of her like I would my own children. I forget sometimes that she is 28 and not 15.
Her and I have had multiple talks lately about life....boys....moving...cable. You know, the important things in life. I try to encourage her to not settle for the "jerk" she tells me she likes. And I try to encourage her to budget her money well and apply for that job she wants...even thought she is 8 or so months pregnant.
Tonight was one of those nights she needed encouragement. She made it to her doctor's appointment today....and by the way, the ultrasound is now Friday! She said she had a very long appointment today, so they didn't have time for the ultrasound. She told me they did a non-stress test on the baby and everything was very good, she told me she has very low iron and may have to have a blood transfusion (I told her I was the same way), and she told me she was very happy to finally get a prescription for something for her heart burn! She was very excited because she really liked her Dr. and she said she was very nice! All very encouraging to hear! Sarah said to me "Good news...the due date may be sooner or later than expected!" Well, isn't that just as clear as mud? I guess we will know more on Friday! Hopefully!
I asked her if her Dr. was aware that she was giving the baby up for adoption and she said "I told them, but they feel bad for me, but I told them its ok but they still want me to reconsider. They had the social worker come in and I'm like OMG what type of hospital is this, it isn't a sad story, it's really a great thing if you look at it differently." I now had to let her know that she is doing the most courageous and selfless thing anyone could do. But we wanted to make sure she was 100% in her decision. I told her if she needed more time, we understand, or if she just wanted to talk about it, I would be all ears! She then said "Oh thank you! It means a lot. A lot of people look down on me for this, but I always think, what if I just had an abortion, would they feel better?" I was just floored that someone at a medical facility would try to talk someone out of this decision, knowing she knows she can't take care of this baby. All I can do is be there for her! She tells me she is confident in her decision and she is glad she is not a judgemental person like the social worker at the office!
She is a strong person. I know that she will make the right decision for this baby and I just keep praying that the right decision is for us to be his parents. God willing!
