A bend in the road is not the end of the road...unless you fail to make the turn
Today was "D" day. Greg and I decided we would think about things and make a decision by Wednesday....well, today is Wednesday!
We have talked to countless people over the last 5 days...attorneys in both Nebraska and Ohio, the adoption agency and the social workers. We wanted to have all of our options laid out in front of us before we made this decision.
Basically, to make a long story short, in Ohio, IF the birth dad comes forward before the baby is born, then the birth mom and dad both have to agree on the adoption. He was not on board. And, in Ohio, no matter what kind of "father" he is, he has 30 days to contest the adoption and he would probably win. We were in no way going to have to take a baby home just to have to give him back to him. If Greg and I were the only ones in this equation, we may have thought a little differently. We could have given this baby 30 days of love (may be the only unconditional love he ever feels), but we have two other kids, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and countless friends who would also be attached to him. We did not want to risk that. We know all adoptions are risky, but in Ohio, and with their laws, this one just became High Risk! So, after much thought, we have decided to walk away from this opportunity. Now, the only one who loses here is the baby. And that is what saddens us the most - what could have been for this baby! We know another opportunity will come our way. When? We are not sure, that is out of our hands.
The win-win of this situation is this: We are officially back on the waiting list as of late today (so begins the obsession again of "how many people don't like us") AND, if this jerk decides to do the right thing and sign his rights away, we will get called to come get this little guy, but while we are waiting for him to be born and to find this out, we are also not missing any other opportunities that may come our way.
I truly believe everything happens for a reason. There is a reason we are supposed to be going through this right now....not sure the reason, but I am sure I will figure it out someday! And, we feel that we will someday make awesome parents to some little girl/boy that is waiting for us!
2013 was beyond perfect for us, so a little bump in the road is not going to stop us!
